Saturday, January 07, 2006

Round is a Shape

David and I are going to start a weight loss contest soon. For those who know us we expect to get the usual rolling of eyes and the "oh, please." Technically both of us are within the weight range for our heights, so really it's more of a fitness thing than a weight thing. We are totally out of shape. Today we were talking to people about wanting to go skiing again and David went on about the fact I've had three spinal surgeries and have a plate in my neck. Whatever. So I countered with:

"Are you in shape?"

He paused, then said brightly, "I'm a shape."

"Pear-shaped," offered a friend, whom he ignored.

The fact is, my back has less pain when I'm about 15 pounds lighter than I am. Plus I'm sure it would help me combat the (stupid, horrible, your-mama-is-a-slime-mold) Lyme Disease if I was in shape. I think I'm already all-muscle. It's just the jiggly, squishy, flabby kind.

I've already run into a potential problem in the contest. Not David; all I have to say is "chocolate" and he loses all sense of time and dimension. Tonight I told him he would have to walk for an hour to burn the calories from a chocolate bar. He said "Ooh! I could walk while eating the chocolate bar and be neutral! Whoohoo!" I also recall his comment, "I don't want to use the exercise bike: it makes my legs sore."

No, he won't be the hard part. It's the girls. They had two colds back-to-back and when they are sick they don't eat. They are slim girls, just like I was at that age, but they've lost a little weight and when you are growing but not eating you start to look like a stick bug. So here's the problem. I've got to plump them up while simultaneously not plumping me up.

The other day I made rice and beans for lunch. They also had tempura vegetables with dip, fresh guacamole, Mediterranean almonds, and coconut sorbet for dessert. I ate rice and beans. I tried to keep face in the rice while ignoring the forkfuls of lusciousness being stuck in mouths not my own. I've got to come up with a better plan.


At Thursday, January 12, 2006 8:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you're killing me know. You don't need to lose 15 ounces, let alone 15 pounds! You are right - I am rolling my eyes!

At Thursday, January 12, 2006 11:02:00 AM, Blogger Sheryle said...

I KNEW you were going to say that "Anonymous." You are very sweet, but it's true that I'm am very out of shape. I have no muscle cells at all anymore, just tiny marshmallows floating on a sea of peanut butter.


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