Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Tossing the Apple

You cannot make up stuff like my day today.

First some background. Mom watches the girls as I go to my doc's every other Friday for IV treatments. This week Winnie the receptionist and Doc Conway's all-around handy woman calls me Monday and asks if I can come in Thursday instead because he has to go to a funeral. I say yes and check with Mom to watch the girls.

There may be a snow/ice storm tomorrow. So this morning, Winnie calls again and offers to let me come in today instead, in case of the storm. I really need the treatment. They can fit me in at noon. It's 10:30 am, Doc Conway's is one hour away, I've got twin girls still in their jammies (don't ask). I'm still in my jammies.

The girl's didn't know what hit them. A whirlwind of clothes, shoes, spray bottle of water, combing, hoods yanked up. The same whirlwind hits me. We're out the door. I then remember that we drove a friend somewhere last week and had to remove one of the car seats. I've never had to install a car seat since our van has integrated car seats. So I tell the girls to stand back and I heave the seat out of the trunk. The girls look concerned. I tried to get it back in the middle slot, where it was before. I yanked and pulled and cut my thumb. The girls took a step back. I started over in the next to the window and finally got it in. First time in their lives they haven't sat right next to each other in a vehicle. I was sad; they didn't seem to notice.

Twice on the hour trip North I start having abdominal cramping. Oh no. I imagine myself having to find a gas station or store, unstrap the twinlets (which takes minutes), herding them in, finding an employee, waiting for the bathroom to clear up, all while bend over and moaning. I drove faster. I did get on an off ramp the second time it happened, but I prayed hard and it cleared up and so I got back on the freeway. I made it to the clinic in time. Used the facilities, felt much better.

Today was the first day the girls witnessed an IV started on their mama. Doc Conway wheeled my IV pole to the back room where everyone else sits with their IV poles. My Dad was there with his. No really, this is not a dream. My Dad, who also has Lyme disease (and other big bad things) was actually there, with Mom. The girls thought it was great fun and passed the time on various laps. Another patient there found out I am an RN and started asking me how to get rid of her husband's hiccups. Sydney ate a banana and Summerlyn ate an apple.

On the way home I decided to stop at the mall because JCPenney's is having a big sale and it's before the crowds. You know how I feel about crowds. I am super tired and so I get one of those rent-a-strollers and the girls take turns. Summerlyn, my very active, inquisitive little girl is acting like a limp noodle. She says she doesn't feel good and wants to keep her coat on even though it's very warm in the mall. Oh no.

I finish shopping and thinking that the girls didn't have much for lunch, maybe they will perk up if I feed them. So we go up to the food court and sit down with a plate of chow mein noodles and vegetable spring rolls, which the girls love. Sydney ate a small portion and said she was full. Summerlyn, on the other hand, refused to even have a sip of juice to drink and laid her head on my lap. Oh no.

We finished and I put her back in the stroller. The next thing I did was a gift from God, a pure moment of inspiration. I gave her an empty styrofoam cup.

On the way out of the mall I stopped and returned the stroller. Still standing by the stroller kiosk, Summerlyn gets THAT look on her face. I say "IN THE CUP! IN THE CUP!" Up comes the apple remains in amazing quantities. Such a wonderful little girl, she spills not a single drop. All in the cup.

She immediately felt better and we went home. The girls fell asleep in the car. The nutty day is still not quite over. Not quite. As I'm driving my right eye starts burning for some unknown reason. I close it, driving with my good left eye and my nose starts itching so I scratch it. I then think of all the disgusting surfaces I've just touched in the mall and so I reach into my purse in the dark and find my little bottle of hand sanitizer. I squeeze and nothing comes out. I shake it and squeeze again and get a huge glob in my hand. I rub in on both hands, and the steering wheel and my jeans. That stuff is like pure alcohol and now my good eye is burning, tears streaming out of both eyes.

I am home now. Girl's sweetly unconscious in their beds, safe. I'm going to bed now before anything else happens.


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